High swine

Came up with this one at lunch today, when my daughter thought it would be funny to throw a piglet out a window:

Pigs fly when you're having fun. 

Daily in the geological sense

I've been sharing these with my buddy Kevin rather than posting them here. But here's a few from the past couple years:

One trick dog and pony show.

An illegible recipe: made from chicken scratch

You gotta put your foot down if you want to get a leg up.

It takes a village idiot

Starry cross-eyed lovers (Kevin overheard on the radio)

Do unto others as you have done to yourself (Kev also heard on the radio)

Don't shoot until you see the whites of their eyes are bigger than their stomachs.

If you want it done right, do it unto others.

Overhead on NPR: "The 800 pound elephant in the room"

I just came up with this one: Speak of the devil in the details.

And on the radio the other day a guy said "we shouldn't paint with broad brushes."

Kevin used the expression "I dug a hole and now I have to sleep in it."

This made me think of "You shit where you eat, and now you have to sleep in it."

Sounds smooth

I was watching Good Will Hunting, and I heard the mixed metaphor "Keep your ear to the grindstone"

Flash mob

It takes a village to tango.

This Title Intentionally Left Blank

A few that I thought of recently:

Out of the pan and into the kettle black
On the bleeding edge of your seat
Raining teeth and nails

Pig in a jacket

I wanted to post a few I can't up with recently:
Don't judge a book until you've walked a mile in its dust jacket.
Squealing like a stuck pig in a poke.

Cutting through the hoops

Ciamh came up with a good one (accidentally I might add):
There's a lot of red tape to jump through

It's not over until the fat lady comes home to roost.

A snowball's chance of freezing hell over

Smooth Dreams

Last night I was really tired and said to my wife, "I'm going to sleep like a baby's bottom."

old one

I don't know if I've posted this one or not, but here it is:
Wicked Red-headed stepmother

Cracked

Just talking to my friend Chloe about applying to grad schools, and I used the expression: "Putting all your eggs in someone else's basket."

Katie just sent me a good one from Mad Men season 3:

There's no use crying over fish in the sea.

Much delayed update!

Well here's a few more. Hey - it's better than nothing!
From Chloë:

I overheard someone say "It all boils down to the wire"
Grasping at the last straw

From Gio:

Shoot fish in a barrel fist, ask questions later.

A few cracking mixed metaphors from me
You can't walk on eggshells without cracking a few eggs.
You can't put all your eggs in one basket without cracking a few eggs.
Don't count your chickens before you've cracked a few eggs.

And Louis pointed me towards a scene from the movie Boondock Saints, which contains the following:

People in glass houses sink ships.
Don't cross the road if you can't get out of the kitchen.

Slosh around when you walk

Recently when talking to a friend about how hilarious the phrase "full of piss and vinegar" is, I came up with this one:
It's raining piss and vinegar.

While in Prague, I heard this one, from my little sister:
Don't get your nipples in a twist.

Also I came up with this one:
If she tells you to jump off a bridge, you say, "how high?"

Bowling for Budgies

Did I post this before? It's like killing 2 birds in the bush with one rolling stone.

Snare that Bass

Ok two - one I thought of: Make like a different drummer and beat it!
The second was from Twin Peaks:

Lucy, you're a cool drink of water to road-weary eyes.

Or a column for that matter...

Don't put all of your eggs in a row.

Ceci n'est pas une peg

From my friend Jennifer:

Put a round peg in your pipe and smoke it!

Lock Stock and Two Laughing Barrels

Was thinking of barrels. We all know the awesome one that Adele came up with: It's like shooting fish in a barrel full of monkeys.

Well, these are probably just as true:
One rotten monkey spoils the barrel
One rotten apple spoils the barrel of laughs

The other day I said "My life is an open book you can judge by its cover."

And I have a nagging feeling that this is a repeat, but "He just pulled the sheep in wolf's clothing over your eyes."